absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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