I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
