South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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