That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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