totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
