I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
