I want to make a zoo with you.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
