Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
