i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
