just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
