You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
