talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
