Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
