just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
