I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
