I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
this will be a night to untag.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
