Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
