I just made out with a guy for $7.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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