i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
