remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
