if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
this hospital has no fireball
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He's on the porch naked. Help.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
