It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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