well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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