her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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