So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I looked at my own cervix.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize