Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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