Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
