I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
