She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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