No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
