don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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