HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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