I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
