im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize