Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize