You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
