thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i now understand why vodka
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
