If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
