therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
