I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
