Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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