The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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