WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
