I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
