quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
