You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
