She's JV to your varsity
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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