found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
