Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
