At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
All I want is dick and wine.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
