GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
