You're completely useless in the revolution.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
