yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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