Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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