Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
