if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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