Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
