i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
