Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
