brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
