Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
